Date: February 1999 Category: S; H & MSR Rating: PG Keywords: Mulder/Scully Romance Spoilers: None. Archive: Archive anywhere, as long as you keep my name attached. Please let me know. Summary: Mulder's cat, B.T. (Bad Timing), introduces new Small Ones in the Mulder family. Dedication: This one's for Melissa. Thanks for her help, support and constant kick in the b**t to remind me I do have to write about the darn Cat... Thanks to Leah for editing. Disclaimer: You know, CC, 1013 and so on…not me... yada...yada... Feedback: Please, feel free to drop me a line. Nice comments and even flames will be appreciated. I believe in constructive criticism and I'm very open to any suggestions. Comments: It would help to have read “The Small Cat” I & II, just so you know how Mulder got a cat and get used to the POV. You can find them on my Web Site or request them by email. *** *** I haven't seen them. Their kittens. They mate a lot, my Big One and his female. But there are no sign of kittens. Her belly hasn't swelled yet. It is indeed strange. My mom told me once they've mated with you, you can consider yourself a mommy. You are fairly sure to have kitties afterwards. The Big female is really different, I guess. I observe them all day long and they seem happy. Most of the time. But my Big One is sad and bored when his female is not with him. And I hate him for it. I'm not enough. Sure, he likes me. He caresses my fur and throws me a ball to play with once in a while. But I realize that I do not make my Big One happy the way she does. And I am not sure my Big One makes me happy anymore. *** *** “She won't bite, Scully. I know she doesn't like you very much but…please?” He exits the place where the water runs all the time and I meow that I'm here and satisfied by his presence. I enjoy him better when he’s wet. But he barely brushes my back with his paws and resumes his talking. “I can't take her with me there! I’m flying. My mom is allergic to cats. My neighbor is in Florida…Come on, it'll be just for two days… I promise I'll be *good* to you afterwards…” His voice is low and throaty so I assume he is talking to his Big One, through some kind of mysterious device. That's how he addresses himself to her most of the time. I never understand what he says but she seems to enjoy it. “Okay. See you then.” I jump on his bed, the nest he rarely uses, and look at him hard. He looks right back at me while he puts on layers of cloth that cover his almost furless body. “We're going for a ride.” I hate that tone. He smiles but does not show teeth and this isn't good. Usually, he uses this to convince me to do something I don't want to do. Like the day he made me eat that horrible food coming from a repugnant, smelly can. It wasn't tasty like the one flavored of Swimming Ones and peas. It was downright awful and I was mad at him for a long, long time. I close my eyes and try to forget I'm about to endure a new “stinky can” experience. I lie above his cloth on his bed, imprinting my smell on them. He is quiet and I purr softly, lulling myself to sleep. WOW! What was that? My body was lifted in the air. I was just snatched away from the warmth of my cocoon by my Big One’s powerful paws. He hugs me to his chest and goes to the other end of his lair. I can’t see a thing because my head rests heavily against him but it seems that we are moving around. Oh. Oh. We're out now. He has actually NEVER voluntarily taken me outside before. Because of one unfortunate episode that happened once. Not my fault if that Small One couldn't resist my cream colored fur and wanted to mate. My Big One was kind of furious after that and he never left any window open anymore. There went my social life. And now he digs in the cloth to retrieve some gray things that, I've learned, are used by Big Ones to open their ways anywhere. Today, they open one huge, shiny piece of cold material. I've seen those before. Big Ones sit inside of them and move. Fast. Faster that I did when that Barking One chased me. Brrr. I still can't get over that. Anyway, I stir in protest and my Big One puts me down on the soft fur that covers the inside of the moving object. Truly amazing. It has see-through panes, much like the windows at home. My Big One sits on the other side and inserts one of the gray things in a tiny hole and, suddenly, the whole ensemble shudders in a terrible roar. Oh! I'm scared now and I jump on my Big One's lap. One paw brushes me away and he jerks me back where I was. “Don't be scared, B.T., we're only going to see Scully.” Sure, whatever you say. But I'm afraid and now we're moving - I can feel it - but my paws rest and my lowerlegs aren't even slightly agitated! As I have no idea about where we’re going, I resume my exploration of the thing. The lights and shadows change often and I can see trees and bits of sky through the window. Amazing thing, indeed. *** *** “Yeah, thanks, Scully. I don’t know how I could manage without you.” “You’d be dead, G-man…” I wake from a nap, open my eyes and I see her. Yuck. Wait?! He brought me to her lair? I stir in my Big One’s paws and he lets me go. The place looks huge, bigger than my home and smells…well, not so bad. “See, she already feels at home…” “I bet ya she’s going to pee in my bedroom and scratch at my curtains once you’re gone…” I turn to them just to see my Big One force his mouth on his mate’s. Great. It’s long, wet and noisy. I’ve learned my lesson. “MEOW!” and I jump on a big piece of furniture with little flowers on it. But they don’t smell anything like the ones outside. This always works. Each and every time. They break apart and the female seems alarmed. I can see it in her eyes. “Told you…” “B.T., get down.” My Big One’s voice is harsh and I don’t give a Squeaky One’s ass. Claw for a claw. “B.T… be nice.” I stare at him and dig my claws in the material beneath me. That’ll teach him. “Bad Timing Mulder!” Oops. The female rolls her eyes in a very ungracious manner and my Big One steps towards me. He picks me up and of course, he talks to me a lot, like he always does. If only he spoke Small Cat’s speech, I’ll tell him to dump his ugly mate and keep me forever. But that is not going to happen anytime soon. Especially not right now. “B.T., you’re gonna stay with Scully for two days. I want you to behave and be nice to her. What am I doing, she’s a cat. Jesus…” The female laughs softly. She is right behind him. Suddenly, he shoves me into her paws, against her chest and I’m suppose to remain there? She seems as startled as I am. “It’s time you two do some female bonding.” I’m too paralyzed to even think of moving. He kisses his mate on the muzzle and goes away. “I have to catch that flight. I’ll call you.” “You owe me BIG TIME, Mulder.” She doesn’t sound too happy. “Yes, well, punish me when I get back, okay?” “Bye, G-man.” “G-woman.” And he’s gone. He’s coming back soon, right? Not like when he leaves for three days and lets me be fed by this old Big female One that smells of another Small One. She isn’t mean but she’s not Him. And then he comes back all scratchy and stinky and he goes right back to sleep. “What am I going to do with you?” she says… Put me down! It worked because she does lower me to the floor. Hey, maybe she speaks like me? “Meow, meow, meeeew!!” “So what is it now, kitty?” Her puzzled expression confirms my doubts. She has no clue as to what I’m talking about. Excellent. “Meow, MEOW!!!” I jump on a wooden thingie next to the window. “Meow, meeee, meow!” “So what?” She comes closer to me as I sit down and stare outside. Nice, full of trees and Flying Ones. The sun shines. She pats my head with her paw, and, damn, I like it. “You’re gonna miss him too? Well, I am. He’ll be back soon. Don’t you worry, kitty, I’ll take good care of you.” All I know is that I’m gonna miss my Big One a great deal. But at least, I know he won’t mate with the female if I’m here to keep an eye on her! *** *** The snooping around the sun-headed Big One’s lair isn’t that rewarding. It’s so tidy and bright. Annoying. Plenty of things to scratch and pull at though. But I doubt that would make my Big One too happy. The female fed me well. A lot more than my Big One, I have to give her that. There’s a look on her face that might mean she’s afraid I would claw her if she stopped pouring the deliciously smelling mix. Oh, well, not like I’m doing it on purpose, right? She left today. She came back later, and seemed amazed at me. True, I didn’t break anything and I peed on the little stones that are left for me in the ground of the food-storage place. She rubbed my back and belly in gratitude. Amazing One. *** *** Then, the sun was high and it was bright outside again. She left again. I resumed to my wandering around the place and discovered that if you push hard enough with your muzzle or you paw, the small window of the place where the waters always runs, you can see outside. I love that. In fact, you can actually go outside. I remember rather vividly what happened - or should I say, almost happened - to me last time I sneaked outside of my Big One’s lair. Oh, guess what? I want that to happen again. *** *** So her street is way nicer than the ones I previously frequented. It’s clean and bright and that’s horrible because you can’t smell food nor see Squeaky Ones. It’s pretty out there but the Flying Ones are way too silent. I am so bored… The fire sun is way above my head. I wander along numerous pavements and all I can see are Young Big Ones strolling around, wandering aimlessly. They can be so clueless sometimes. They walk alone or in pairs and they never seem to get anywhere. They just walk, and walk. I find a little square location where the ground smells of wet leaves and Barking Ones pooh. Once I forget about the horrible stink, the place is rather nice. I do some investigating over the ground. See, I must know what’s going on there. Leaves, branches and tiny Crawling Ones tickle my muzzle. One bold black creature with many legs dares to get stuck in my whiskers. I shake my head hard until I feel woozy and the poor thing probably flew all the way down the street I came from. You’d better not mess with me. In the end, I find a nice flat wood seat where Big Ones usually sit. I lie there and let sleep come and take me away. I wish I had kitties. I would share this quietness with them because I know my Big One wouldn’t take them away from me. It’s time. *** *** Oh, wonderful. Now water is coming from the sky. Heavy. I run as fast as I can and don’t ask me how but I arrive right in front of the female One’s block of stone. Where her lair is. I can smell it. Actually I think I can smell everything with that never-ending rain. So now, like the idiot Small Cat I am, I sit in front of the big passage that leads to her place. All this because the window is now closed. Well, I’m good at opening things… when they open. I wait. Sneeze. Wait again. I look up to see a Big One, a strange one of his kind. I can’t see his muzzle because he holds big, earthy-colored heavy…whatever, with food in it. Unless my nose is actually dead, there’s food in there! He seems awfully awkward, trying to open the entrance and struggling with the brown things and one extremely ugly huge leaf Big Ones often use to protect their hairless heads from the rain. So in an instant, I’m inside. And I’m dry at last. I activate my hyper-developed sense of smell and, yes, I’m on the right tracks. The sniff ends there, in front of a closed wood pane. So I wait. *** *** A nudge in my belly wakes me up. Meee. Meeeeee. The most beautiful sight. A Small Cat, barely older than I am. I see fur the color of clouds before rain falls. Deep bright and lustrous and, oh! A male. He compliments me about my own fur and the way I smell. Good Cat. He dances around me. Then, it’s happening again. I really should be more careful when I go out. Before I can even protest - not that I want to - I’m ready to compete with my Big One and his mate. The Small Cat jumps on my back, his claws dig in my flanks and… Mee. Meow. Meow. Meeeeeeeeeeee. Meow. Meow? Where are you going? Meow? MEEEOOW!!! Come back! And this idiot flees away. Back to square one. It was so sudden and so short, I don’t even think it was mating. I mean, My Big One and his female spend hours at this. No, definitely not mating. Later. “B.T.! How did you get outside?” I look up a the Big female. “If Mulder were here… I don’t even want to go there.” Then she opens and we go in. Soon enough, the place smells like food. *** *** It is not a long time before my Big One comes to get me and we go on with our…lives. Every day, he goes away, then comes back and feeds me. We play, we sleep. Often, the flame-haired female is with him. I wasn’t yelled at or punished for my little escapade but I never got to go outside again. Tough. Squeaky squeak. I miss the outside. I feel weirder and weirder as the time passes on. You know, my tummy is achy and my paws are heavy. I sleep all the time - not that I wasn’t doing that all the time before anyway - and I eat a lot. My Big One often looks at me like I’ve grown a second tail when I finish my third can of Swimming One food. I am so sick. So my Big One shoved me once again in his large moving device and we met a lot of Big Ones in a bright, white place that smells like…some sort of foaming paste Big Ones put on their teeth. There, a mean Big One put me on my back and started to play with my fur, my paws and all. He didn’t play nice. He pressed cold instruments on my belly and it hurt. Then I slept. *** *** I awoke to the angry voice of my Big One. “She’s PREGNANT, Scully… Danm it!!” “She’s a cat, Mulder.” “Rhetorical question. She’s gonna have babies.” What are they bickering about, I wonder. I feel so sleepy. And grouchy. If they keep that up, I am going to have to scratch somebody. “A litter, Mulder. Kittens.” “And who’s fault is that? Uh? You told me she behaved!! How could you have been this careless?” “What are you talking about?” There she frowns. I like when she’s angry at my Big One because he always seek comfort by rubbing his lower-paws in the fur of my belly afterwards. Now, I just want the noise to stop. I flicker my ears. “The vet said she was impregnated around the time I asked you to take care of her, Scully. Any idea what could have happened?” “I…uh…Immaculate Conception?” “Just plain funny, Scully. No wonder Jerry Seinfeld quit his day job!” “Ah, ah. Point is, we’re dealing with living creatures here. What about the kitties? What are you gonna do with them?” “I can’t keep more animals here and you know it. And I can barely raise this little devil there by myself…” The female comes closer and pets my back. I purr but I don’t like that kind of attention anymore. I want her paws away from me. “MEOW.” “She’s been terrible for some time now. I can’t stand her meowling all day long…” Now, I reluctantly, slowly walk to my Big One, only to see their paws entwined above me. I rub myself against his lower-legs. I want HIS attention. Then, I withdraw. I don’t even know what I want anymore and my heavy belly hurts like a pulled whisker. Whatever is weighing my tummy, get it out!! I can’t stand it any longer!!! “We’ll find a solution when the time comes, okay?” “Yeah, but I’m not drowning the little ones…” “We could give them out to some kids?” “Sure. Poor B.T., how will she understand I had to give away her babies?” “She’s just a cat, G-man.” “But she’s my cat…” I sleep. *** *** AAARRRGH!! Oh, Holy Mommy of all Small Cats, it rips my body in half!!! Strange noises and smells and…stuff are coming out of me. My Big One paces around like a crazed Barking One and so does his female. Their spin makes me dizzy. I push and I push and push for what seems to last…you now when the moon is slim and then round and then slim again? Something like that. I can feel them jerking and the weight slowly drains ways from me. I’m having kitties. I know it. I can feel it. Then I see them. Ugly creatures. Their hair is all dirty and wet and their eyes are closed. They don’t look at all like the Big One’s kitties, or what I saw of them. They aren’t smooth and rosy. Great. Big Ones gravitate around me but I don’t hear them, I only hear every little sound inside my whole body. I guess they are taking care of me and my kittens because soon enough, they start nursing and milking me and…Oh, why does this have to be this painful? My Big One has water in his eyes. I count three Tiny Ones, actively sucking on my nipples to feed their voracious appetite. Yes, I can count. My mom taught me well before I…got lost. There is this disgusting, repulsive amount of icky matter that came out of me. And I have to eat it. I don’t really want to but some kind of unknown and obscure force pushes me to pinch my muzzle and dive in. In my frenzy, I hear odd sounds. I look up at my Big One. His face is color of the leaves. His mouth hangs open. And suddenly, I realize THE THING. I’m a momma. FIN *** *** Any ideas for the kitties?
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